Oh, Carterboy

Todd calls Carter, "Carterboy". I usually call him "sweetie". I think I will always call him that. I am still amazed that Carter's 18th birthday is just weeks off. How did that time go so quickly? We have had an interesting journey during Carter's growing up years and there were times (still are) when all we could do was throw up our hands and wonder why things happen the way they do.

For example, the other day I came across a letter I had written to Carter's 6th grade teacher at Trinity. I was apparently unhappy with her assessment of him and thought she should know a little bit about our son. While reading it, I began to relive the emotions I felt at the time it was written. I so wanted to protect him from such an unfair world. As I read my well thought out statements about Carter, I started remembering things about him I had since forgotten. My one and a half page "rant" covered everything, and more! Here are some snippets from the letter with my updated comments in italics:


Carter Thompson, age 11, December 10, 2003
Carter wants to be an inventor when he grows up. He likes to think of new inventions and describe them in detail to us. The themes of most of his “inventions” are improvements on the everyday things we use to make them faster or more convenient.
He likes to play chess. He does not always win, but he enjoys thinking of a strategy. He also likes to do jig saw puzzles. He will sit for long periods of time trying to find just one certain piece. He enjoys anything that presents a puzzle for him. He designs roller coasters, zoos and amusements parks on his computer games. Today Carter is wanting to major in either architecture or engineering. He is a whiz on the computer, excels in his design classes at school and still amazes us with his creative ideas.

Carter likes to interact with adults. He will visit elderly neighbors and former neighbors on his own. He looks adults in the eye when they talk to him and will even offer his hand to shake when meeting someone for the first time. We get numerous compliments about Carter and his behavior in social settings. Right now Carter works at United as a sacker, stocker, and trainer. He shows confidence when talking to adults, still looks them in the eye and will go out of his way to shake someone's hand or bid them goodbye. Many people tell us how rare it is for someone his age to exhibit those social skills.

Carter asks hard questions. He thinks about things on a much deeper level than you would expect of an 11 year old. He wants to know why things are the way they are and how things work. He asks questions about God, death and the universe that get us thinking as well.
Carter wants everything to be fair. He doesn’t understand why people have to hurt one another. Boys that say mean things to him or physically bully him make him frustrated and angry. Carter is not an overly physical or aggressive child. He is sympathetic to anyone he perceives as “the underdog”. Carter certainly has a servant's heart. He is a loyal friend to those others may not even bother to get to know. He does not judge on appearance, but on heart, and it has taken some time for us, as his parents, to understand that.

Carter can be forgetful, but he has a great memory. He tends to forget assignments or to brush his teeth, but he can recite information he finds interesting or fun with ease. He likes to discover information about a subject that is obscure and gets satisfaction from telling us something we didn’t know. Carter still frustrates us. He can be lazy, forgetful, sloppy and argumentative. At times he thinks he knows better than us, thinks the house is one big trash can and requires "coaxing" from us to accomplish chores or meet deadlines. In other words, he is a teenager!

My letter goes on about his allergies, his hobbies of reading and playing the guitar and finishes with suggestions on how we can all help him become better organized without the use of medications. I was his biggest advocate back then. I was ready to take them all on to prove my child was not different from any other.

I never sent that letter. I guess because after I finished it and reread it (probably dozens of times), I knew I didn't write that letter for his teacher. I wrote it for myself. I am sure I was frustrated with the teacher, with Carter, just with the whole situation. I needed to remind myself at that time, how very special Carter was. And yes, he was different from the average child, he was above average!

We have been blessed with an amazing son. Sometimes, especially now when teenager hood seems to have robbed me of my little boy, I need to be reminded of that. So as I get all bent out of shape when I find the basement looking like a bomb had been recently detonated, or when his room looks like it contains a year's worth of laundry and garbage, I need to be reminded we only have him "on loan". The days of him wanting to hold my hand in the car, or just get a hug, are now my sweet memories. They have been replaced with "love you Mom", as he flies out the door in the morning and quick hugs as he arrives home from his day. He has a life already mapped out for him, and I feel pretty certain God has special plans for our Carterboy. The journey, albeit, bitter sweet, has been very much worth it.