Journey of the Blog

When I started this blog, I had no idea what I was going to write about. In fact, I questioned what someone of my age could write about that would be of interest to anyone. For most of the blogs I have written, I just clicked on new post and wrote what came to mind. Today's post is a little more "spirit" driven. The blogs from the sisters have tilted this week toward talk of their spiritual journey and then today my devotional kind of hit on that target, so I feel driven to write about it.

My devotional asked, "Have you ever consciously moved into the realm of God not only as your Savior but also as your Master and Lord? Is God tugging on your heart for you to completely surrender all to Him? Are you holding on to your life too tightly? What are you afraid will happen if you surrender it all to God?

I just sat there and stared at those questions. Then I checked the date to see if I was on the right day. I have had a problem with all of the above. I just have never had them presented so point blank. It continued with "For many of us, we're quick to make God the Savior of our life, but making Him Lord and Master- the One in complete authority and control of us- is a different story." There it is again, as if someones been inside my head.

So I need to be honest about my true commitment to give myself, my life to God. It is a hard thing to do. Especially hard for someone who devotes most of her waking and non-waking energy to maintaining control. How do you go from decades of trying to keep it all together, to just surrendering it all? Well, prayer is the obvious answer. Praying for release from the anxieties that have clung to me like lint on that black sweater I love to wear. It would be much easier if I could take the lint brush to them and off they come, but no it won't be that easy. I will have to pull them off one by one, releasing each one to the air, floating, circling around me still capable of attaching back on if I am not careful.

It will be a hard task for me, but I am taking up the challenge and I will use my blog to help me along the way. So it is clear I will have some direction in my blogging. This blog has been very therapeutic in a lot of ways for me and I can tell from the sisters' blogs it has been the same for them. I think the inward searching we are doing, sharing our daily happenings and thoughts, and the ability to laugh at ourselves is a big step toward accepting exactly who we are and who we are becoming.