Post-Op Thoughts

2/24 Today is day 8 after my surgery. All has gone well, or as well as expected. I have a bladder infection, which I was told was common. I don't mind being common, and I certainly don't want to develop anything uncommon.

I am very fortunate to be blessed with three caring sisters who have all taken good care of me during this recovery. They each have their own way of showing their love and compassion for my situation and each are irreplaceable. Thank you sisters!

2/26 Now it is day 10. Sue left on Day 9. I am feeling pretty good. The air bubble issues seem to be subsiding and at times I actually feel normal. But that is usually short-lived since then I do too much and subsequently collapse into "the chair".

The chair is the budget rocker/recliner we bought around the holidays for Amber to have in her room for rocking Teagan. Since then it served many nights as a bed for Todd following his shoulder surgery, and now it is my chair. We have it sitting out in the living room (rather close to the tv) with a tv tray/table beside it serving as my desk of sorts. When we bought that chair we had no idea how well it would be put to use. I remember both of us sitting in it up in Amber's room testing out the comfort and the mechanics. We thought we got a pretty good deal then, now we know we did!

I know one day I will look back on all of this and try to recall details of the days following the surgery. (Here it is already 3 years since Sue and Linda's procedures!) I hope the one thing I do remember is how thoughtful and caring my family and friends have been during all of this. It was probably one of the hardest decisions I have had to make, and their support and prayers have and continue to carry me through it all.

On a Wing and a Prayer

I told Patty I am going into my surgery next week on a wing and a prayer. I had to call the doctor's office today to light a fire under them. They still had not called me with the info about my upcoming surgery. I already knew to stop with the aspirin or Advil several days before, but what if I didn't know? They were also going to check my iron level "in plenty of time" in case I wanted to arrange for blood donations. I would venture a guess 4 days (including the weekend) is probably not going to be in plenty of time.

I am thinking, so am I going to have to stay awake and supervise the procedure too? Patty suggested Linda scrub in, but she is working that day.... It bugs me when details are not attended to. It also irks me when they promise to do one thing and forget it as soon as it is out of their mouths.

I guess it is true we need to take charge of our own health, and monitor/question the doctors and their staff. Who else is going to be our advocate? Pretty sad, but then again I don't want to rely on others to make my decisions, I want to be informed and make them myself if at all possible. But these details like scheduling and blood work, I can't do that. Frustrating.

So obviously I am a little anxious. When the nurse taking my information said, "no depression?, anxiety? mental health issues? I had to laugh. I said well I have anxiety. I am not under the care of a professional(unless you count my family who may or may not be qualified, depending on their state of mind at the time). I wanted to tell her that my family is very informed when it comes to health issues. We investigate, study and diagnose ourselves, each other, other people and even our pets. It has become a hobby of sorts, and we sometimes forget we are not actually qualified.

The Internet has made it so much easier to be your own diagnostician. When I told the nurse I had watched a hysterectomy being performed on YouTube, she looked at me at first like, you are kidding, right? But when I began asking some very detailed questions, she looked impressed, or maybe that look was pity. Either way she answered my questions.

I guess knowing too much can be a detriment at times (as well as not having access to the doctor's scheduling book). So we go on faith that God will be in control of it all and we surrender ourselves to whatever happens happens. I guess I am under the care of the professional afterall. I hope my angel has some strong wings and my prayers some clout!

Happy 18th Birthday Carter!

Lost Concerns

I have to say since Lost has finally returned to the lineup, I am getting more and more concerned. I am really worried that when it is all over and done with this season, that I still won't have a clue as to what is going on, that I still will not get it.

It is kind of like a joke someone is telling you, and they have already built it up as being such a big laugh, and the whole time you are waiting for the punchline you are worried you won't get it. That is the way I feel about Lost this season. All the commercials leading up to it being the final season and how all is going to be revealed to us....the same kind of pressure is there.

Todd has tried to watch the show with me in seasons passed, but he never could hang in there. I have explained to him it is just time travel. So he watched the season opener with me and kept saying sarcastically, oh, now I get it, its time travel.....and then looked at me with his crazy eye look and then finally got up and left the room. Well some people just don't get time travel and all the physics that are involved.

Okay, so I don't get it either, but I am sticking with it till the end and if it is still not clear then, well I don't know what I will do. I just wonder how many will be willing to admit they are still lost after it is all said and done. Maybe this is just some joke on the viewing public. Maybe there really isn't going to be an answer to all that has happened. And maybe once the punchline is delivered, we will all chuckle anyway and pretend we have a clue and then go back to how it was before Lost became a concern.

A Hoodie Hoo to February

I don't know why I can't seem to get a blog written lately. I have tried several times and then left them as drafts. At one point I had three drafts. I deleted all of them one by one. They seemed too depressing. Even though I have said in earlier blogs how depressing February is, I am not ready to give into it.

Amber, Adam and Teagan are planning a visit next weekend and I cannot wait to see them. It seems like forever since they were here and seeing Teagan on the videocam (though better than nothing) just isn't the same. There is just something about holding a baby and breathing in their baby smell that is joyful.

Their visit is right before my scheduled surgery. I have had several people comment on my calmness and acceptance of that quickly approaching event. I guess it could be I am in denial, but I don't think so. This may sound like a testimonial of sorts, even though I have never given one that I know of, but I think the prayers that are being offered up for me are providing that peace. I know I am doing the right thing. I have actually tried to dwell on it and worry about it, but I can't. My mind will not let me sit and worry about it. I know that God's hand is working there and it is such an awesome feeling....one I don't think I have ever experienced.

There have been times when I have looked back on something and realized later that God had worked His plan in it. I don't think I have ever been right there, right in the middle of a trying time and felt peace with it. I am so grateful for all those who are praying for me at this time. It has been a true blessing in my life.

Did you know there is a holiday in February called Hoodie-Hoo Day? It is a copyrighted holiday on February 20th. People who observe it go outside at noon on that day and wave their hands over their heads and shout "Hoodie Hoo!" The purpose being to chase away winter and usher in spring. I thought that was pretty funny. So on February 20th we all need to celebrate Hoodie Hoo Day with shouts and hand waving....February will not defeat us! It may not improve the weather, or rid us of the dreary overcast days, but it should make us laugh, lift our spirits and help us conquer February....Hoodie Hoo!!