Healing Faith

I am almost a month out from my surgery. So who is tired of hearing about that? Me for one. Most of the reminders of the surgery have been stored away or thrown away. The recliner chair has been removed from the living room, and the cheery flowers from loved ones and friends have wilted and been tossed. I still have a couple of butterfly band-aids hanging on, but they will soon wash off. So it feels like a new beginning. Spring is right around the corner and I feel like I have been reunited with the "land of the living".

I am not sure exactly what that means for me. I do feel changed and re-energized. I think God is wanting more from me and every day I pray for His guidance. As you can imagine, I have had a lot of time to ponder and think about my life as I am healing. I am amazed at how God led me to the point I am at right now. He could have cured me years ago, but the lesson would not have been there. I needed to work it out for myself, in His way and His time. He led me to the right doctors and He showed me where I was lacking in my faith and He has blessed me. I have heard it said that when you are given a trial there is a blessing waiting for you. I never quite understood that until now.

My blessing is an awakening and it is not just because I survived the procedure. In the last year or so, I turned it all over to God. I prayed daily, I faithfully read my Bible and boldly asked for a miracle. I have never done that before. Slowly I came to the place that allowed me to make a decision based on my solid belief- God's will be done. Don't get me wrong, it was not easy and there were times of doubt and anxiety. But the prayers of family and friends gave me the strength to move ahead.

I prayed to our Lord with the conviction that He could cure me. I referenced the woman in the Bible who was cured by one touch to Jesus' robe. I imagine now He was thinking, ah, yes, but what are you missing? I can see now her conviction was different from mine. Her belief was already evident and Jesus felt it just by the touch of His robe. That's what was missing. I wanted that kind of faith and I didn't know how severely it was lacking. I have learned a lot since then and continue to now.

I have discovered what a blessing daily time in prayer is. When I tell someone I will be praying for them, I actually mean it and it is not just a well-meaning statement of good intention. I have also discovered what it means to be lifted up in prayer. I hope that what I have found out about myself can help others who find themselves at a similar place. We are all in this "land of the living", but what does that mean without the living God in our lives? I have been fortunate enough to see both places and blessed to be granted this new beginning.