Blundering through Life

I made a big mistake. I mean it was HUGE! I can't go back and fix it and it will never go away. It was one of those fall off a cliff things that leaves you thinking what happened...one minute all was good and the next...BAM! I know it all sounds very negative doesn't it? It was a lesson, a God one, so that is good right? I hope I can come to that conclusion...the sooner the better.

I have found myself starting my prayers lately with "I am struggling with...." or "God, you know I struggle with..". God I'm sure is thinking yes, dear one you are and you have been for a long time. He and his heavenly saints are probably also thinking and "when will you finally get it!!" I may well be getting "it" (or at least a portion) as I turn to Him more and more. The "it" I am coming away with is to always, always go to God first with everything I am struggling with. He will listen, He will not judge and He will answer.

For some that may sound pretty elementary. It is not for me. I want to trust God with every portion of my life, but with all the horrible things happening in the world, I can't help but think my stuff is so trivial. The more I talk to God through prayer and His Word, however, the more I have come to realize He is interested in me and my life. He is living in me and can use me for so much. I can spread His goodness and love just by the way I live my life and the attitude I bring to the people I come in contact with daily (right here in Lubbock, Tx). He is taking care of all the details. Pretty amazing.

I can't go back and fix my blunder, I know that. But I have learned that to confide in another human with something very personal and humbling is a risk. They are human just like me and they make mistakes as well. So I will take it as a lesson learned and go on. I have learned that God is my confidante and all I say to Him stays between us. He will guide me and direct me and He will comfort me and support me. Hopefully my blunders will become fewer, or at the very least, maybe the fall will not be as far.